Dear John
I am reminiscing to those days when I was madly and deeply in love with you. I was young and naive with the concept of love when you introduced it to me, but I gladly greeted it with a hello.
We were high school students back then. We were both preoccupied with the thought of everyday. I was an invisible soul to you as I can remember and so were you to me. I didn’t really care about your existence but fate had its own twist, you noticed me. That seat-work that I was having trouble with, that help you offered me, and that moment that started the thing I called "destiny". There was friendship. There was you. There was me. We became very fond of each other. I started to get charmed by you and I had this feeling of wanting you, wanting for us to happen. We talked and texted everyday like there was no tomorrow and slowly got to know each other deeply. We stopped with those playful conversations and started to get more serious. You opened a new chapter in my life, and I gladly read it. But the thing is, I didn’t know what page you were on. You told me you love me and maybe that was true or maybe you were just messing with me, maybe you were just playing with my emotions cause you knew that I was starting to have feelings for you. I was starting to get confused with the things we were doing. We were not an item but we were acting like one. No labels were made but I was happy on whatever we were, as friends or maybe more than that. You kept telling me that you love me and often asked if I also love you. I was having second thoughts about it, not on what I felt about you but second thoughts if I should tell you the words "i love you too" but i did anyway cause back then, I felt that that's the right thing to do and that we both deserved it, a chance. You, me, us. We continued with this exchange of "I love you" but sadly remained as friends. I was madly in love with you and hoped you felt the same way for me too. But out of nowhere you left me without saying goodbye, you left me hanging, you shut me out of your life and with my own naked eyes, saw everything we had flew away like dusts blown by the wind. Every morning after that, I woke up hoping that it was just a bad dream but at the end of the day, I was also face slapped with the reality that it wasn’t. That it was indeed real. I got broken. I got played. Those joyful memories we had soon became the reason for every teardrop. For the first time, someone broke my heart. And with every attempt of putting the pieces back together, it was like skin on sandpaper, the pain never seems to leave you but instead resides deep within.
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I stopped talking to you because you shattered me and maybe it's just fair enough that I'll shut you out too, in hopes that it will break your heart also. But avoiding you didn't stop me from loving you. Instead, it made me want you more. I wanted to bring back the old us; I wanted you to be the person to fix what you broke, my heart in this case. I wanted us to start over again but you treated me like a ghost, unseen and unwanted. I spent time and tears for you but later realized that There was never a "WE", a "YOU and I", and an "US". It was just entirely me. I was blinded by the false forever you showed me that I was forgetting about myself. I needed to pick myself up. There was no point of crying over you even though I really loved you. I knew I deserved happiness. I deserved to be treated right.
To that almost lover, you were my first love, the reason why I feared love but at the same time wanted to feel it again. I was able to pick myself up, it was hard but it was a journey. A mistake ? maybe. But one thing's for sure, you were a lesson learned.
So Dear John, I am reminiscing to those days when I was madly deeply in love with you. I was young and naive with the concept of love when you introduced it to me, but for all the pain, the late night tears, the never ending question I asked myself if you really loved me, I want you to know that……
KARMA IS A BITCH!
by: Lawrence Sentillas and Jehdel Abellana
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